The Social Cost of Writing
This is a companion post to How Much does it Cost to be a Writer? If you haven’t read that post, don’t worry. The connection is thematic.
If you’ve been following the How to Plan Your Writing Career series, you no doubt have some questions about time management. Especially if you are staring down the barrel of 10 - 20 hours of work on writing in addition to a full-time job, like I am. This is not about time management directly. There will be another post for that. This is about the non-monetary costs of writing. I’ve itemized them below in no particular order since different people have different values. We’ll discuss each in turn after the list.
I’m not trying to scare you away from writing. Far from it. This is about understanding the realistic costs and making an educated decision about your life that will ensure physical, mental, and emotional well-being. TL;DR: there are no easy answers. Sorry.
You have less time for side pursuits.
Fun stuff like video games, other hobbies, fishing, etc.
Projects such as building a deck, or pursuing extra education
You have less time for friends.
To support them
To hang out
To get support from them
Less time for family.
See friends above
Less time for work - this is not a change to your daily hours necessarily.
Lower professional advancement
Reduced problem-solving
We all have the same 24 hours in a day. If you’re like the average person in America you get about 7 hours of sleep a day, not including the time it takes to get to sleep, wake up completely, or drag yourself out of bed. When you add that in it becomes 8 hours 45 minutes. That leaves 15 hours 15 minutes. Then you work for 9 hours, not including breaks. You spend about 55 minutes commuting (27.6 one-way). This leaves you with 5 hours 20 minutes of “free time” per day. Once you take out meals, grooming/dressing, and “settling in” you’re left with about 3 - 4 hours of free time per day.
As we established in the Career series, you’ll likely spend 1.5 - 3 hours writing per day. That doesn’t leave much room for anything else except on the weekend.
Side Pursuits - This one is fairly straightforward. Most people will make cuts here to make room for writing, and that’s a good idea. Mostly. These are also the sources of energy for many people. Especially introverts. If you cut your relaxation time down too much, you’ll burn out.
Some of these things can’t be put off, like repairing a bathroom sink. In these cases you need to make a decision about what is more important. Time can be saved if you spend money for side projects, but not everyone can do that.
I try to fit in about 3 hours of leisure time on Saturday and Sunday. Almost everything else is used elsewhere.
Friends - Introverts cut here first. Extraverts have a tough time, as they need more social time than alone time. If you’re serious about your writing the way I am (and you don’t have to be) you won’t have time for random text-messages, phone calls, visits, or spontaneous plans. But these are the same people that rely on you and bail you out of the emotional pit you might find yourself in. Writing can be brutal, between impostor syndrome, rejection, and seeking inspiration/motivation.
I try to fit in 4 - 6 hours of friend-time per week, mostly in one big bucket on Friday nights when I play Pathfinder or Star Wars with my friends. About once a month I’ll spend most of a Saturday playing board games with a different friend group. I don’t know what’s right for you, but don’t become a loner. These people enrich our lives and give us ample character ideas. Cut them out at your own peril.
Family - For many, this one is inviolate, and I understand why. Family is incredibly important, and I would never recommend ignoring your children, significant other, parents, or anyone else. What I do recommend is working with your partner/family to set guidelines. Maybe you have a writing space with a door. When it’s closed, no one is allowed to bother you unless it’s a house-on-fire level emergency. Maybe you retreat here 2 - 4 times a week, cramming in your writing and craft work in a few longer sessions.
You can also use your leisure reading time to read to the kids or your SO, if they’re into that. You may need to take up audiobooks for your drive or when you’re waiting in line for coffee. And your lunch break may become your craft reading time, like it is for me. Boundaries are important, but you can’t neglect your family, and it isn’t a decision you can make alone.
Work - What could I possibly mean by you’ll have less time for work? Your hours don’t go down just because you’re a writer, right? Of course not. But outside of work, that’s a different story.
If you’re working a career-level job (no judgment here one way or the other), then you likely spend time reading trade journals, networking, or expanding your resume. This uses that precious free time we mentioned above. Is that more important than your writing? It’s ok if it is. Probably better in the long run too, if we’re being honest. So if you aren’t pursuing writing as a career, cutting here doesn’t make much sense.
If you are pursuing a writing career? Prepare to be passed over for promotions or receive lower raises and bonuses. Not because you’re a bad worker, but because the time you spent being exceptional is now spent writing. Or some of it is. You’ll also find that you don’t think about work as much outside of the workplace. Instead your thoughts are filled with words and story ideas. This isn’t bad, but it means you won’t solve work problems in bursts of inspiration at the dinner table. Instead it’ll be fixing the plot hole that’s been niggling at the back of your mind.
So what do you do? How do you decide what to cut and what to keep? I can’t decide for you. But, it’s not a solo decision either. Speak to the people who will be affected. Figure out what your schedule can support. For most people, it isn’t 3 hours a day every day. Which means you either have to write/study/read faster (which is somewhat reasonable) or you write fewer books over a longer period of time.
This seems like a bit of a downer, but it doesn’t have to be. If you put your writing on a pedestal, you’ll resent every infringement on your time, even if its your kids trying to tell you about their day or you just taking some much needed rest. Instead, figure out your priorities and how much time you’re prepared to spend on them. Then plan accordingly. Once you have a plan, you may find that you feel free. No more guilt about not writing, this is family time. No more distractions during writing time, sorry Jack, we can talk later. It’s a good thing, if you let it be. But that’s enough soapboxing. Get back to writing. Or whatever you need to be doing right now.